I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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