Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize