I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
