eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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