dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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