the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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