I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize