I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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