it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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