I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
