Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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