I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
