where does the pee come out of this thing
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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