i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
