Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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