Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize