I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
