If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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