I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
