he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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