just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
