So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
