it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
