I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
