I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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