i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
