I wanna passion pit in your ass
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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