dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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