Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Randomize
