Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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