she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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