I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
