I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize