Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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