SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
