I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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