This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
