you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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