Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize