All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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