I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
