Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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