I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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