Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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