think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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