every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize