Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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