You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
i think my cat just said my name.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
