he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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