I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I need to stop coming to work sober
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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