i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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