every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
