When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
