...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
