Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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