Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
