Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
