You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
