I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
