im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
