No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
