smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
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